'Of course I love myself!' our mind tells us almost instantly when we are asked.
We really think we DO love ourselves because 'Why not? Why wouldn't I love me!?'
Yet what we think refects how we LIKE things to be, which is often conflicting with what we subconsciously believe and how things truly ARE...
But there is a way to tell if you do love you, so don't despair!
If you can HONESTLY ANSWER QUESTIONS below you will find out.
I suspect you are reading this because you are curious and want to know the truth. It it scary, even painful, admitting certain truths and your RESISTANCE speaks immediately from within:
I don't want to know. I don't need to know this - it is not important. I know better.
Can you hear its voice ?
DENIAL happens when our resistance is greater than our longing for the truth.
It seems easier to NOT know, doesn't it? MOMENTARILY yes. However, keeping our denial in place takes a lot more effort in the long run!
Know that SURRENDERING to the truth, by being accepting, is a truly liberating beginning towards happier, more authentic you, towards HEALING.
You cannot receive an honest answer if you are closed to it, so notice your discomfort and resistance coming up, but don't act on it. It wouldn't be cool to waste your time and effort on cheating yourself!
Are you ready? Here we go:
1/ Do you desire to be loved by others, finding it difficult to feel content and happy on our own?
Do you need constant reassurance about how much others love you? Do you want to be popular?
Do you feel scared and lonely without a company? Do you tend to start a new relationship soon after the old one has finished, wanting attention? Are you chasing status, money, or a trophy partner, to feel better about yourself?
2/ Do you make others happy, 'forgetting' your needs, putting your true desires on hold?
Do you tend to put others on a pedestal to serve them? Do you spend time with them on their terms rather than your own? Do your other relationships suffer due to spending most of your time with your partner? Do you feel that you put much more into your relationships than others to a point of exhaustion?
3/ Do you ALLOW abuse, put downs, repetitive and destructive criticism?
Do you EXCUSE their actions, feeling sorry for them? Do you tolerate lies and half truths? Is DRAMA and confusion about their intentions your daily companion? Do you question their love, ending up doubting yourself?
4/ Do you experience depression/anxiety/panic attacks, feeling helpless and at the mercy of others?
Do you feel life is hard and not fair? Do you feel like a helpless victim of circumstances you have no power over? Do you like to ESCAPE your unpleasant emotions by engaging in destructive/addictive behaviours like taking drugs, smoking, drinking alcohol, partying?
If you have answered YES to any of these questions, CONGRATULATIONS. I applaud you for being brave and acknowledging it. As only by accepting that we have a problem we are in a position to change it!
Continue to part 2 to learn about how to deal with your emotions rushing in.
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2017 Michaela Patel