Have you been told you are NEEDY? Do you fear solitude, hating to be alone?
There is a reason you prefer to be with your partner all the time, do you know WHY?
Because s/he makes you feel good about yourself.
When others express their love towards us we feel amazing. We feel content as our insecurity (our unhealthy NEED to feel loved) is being nicely fed.
It is like taking a painkiller: we are addicted to feelings of adoration and love from others, and when we aren't with them, we start hurting. We hurt as having rejected ourselves, spending time in our own company is filled with self-loathing, despair and scary emptiness. We feel sad, isolated, abandoned.
Who wants to feel like that? No one...
...yet facing our pain is the only remedy - rather than popping pills. Our pain won't go away untill we give it some attention, instead of seeking attention elsewhere. Yes we don't like to hear this, thinking 'we are fine!'.
Are you brave enough to acknowledge that seeking other's company to escape YOU is unhealthy and unhelpful.
Without this initial SHIFT in our consciousness, we will continue to escape our pain, and our happiness will depend on how others act towards us. We will be at their mercy like a puppet reacting to their dos and don'ts, being MANIPULATED whilst chasing love, complaining that life isn't fair.
When all you seek to feel is that others love you, you are a SLAVE of love, as supposed to its master.
Wanting others to express their love the way they used to, you will do what it takes to get supply of your 'medicine'. And you will only get it when you act accordingly to their wishes: looking in a particular way, doing specific chores, bringing certain amount of money home, acting in desired ways towards their friends, parents, children.
Is your partner criticising your body shape, efforts at home or work, asking you to behave in specific ways towards others, threatening to withdraw his/her love should you disobey? Do you get his/her attention only when he is happy with how you have been?
Isn't your 'love medicine' way too pricey? What if you could cut the middle man and learn to love you?
Wouldn't you like to feel free in a relationship? Wouldn't you like to show your love for them freely the way YOU desire? Wouldn't you like them loving you without all those conditions?
Love with conditions is not love but a business of 'I will love you IF...'
To free yourself from the chains of conditional love, all you need to do is to understand yourself better. Undestand your self-rejection and start loving you. Start treating you with the same respect and devotion they ask of you, because only then life will start to be fair.
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2017 Michaela Patel