Why are we so keen on pretending? Why do we find it hard to show the real us to others?
Because we believe that there is something the matter with us. That we are not enough for them to love and accept us.
We, deep down, believe that we are inadequate and wholly unloveable...
Where do our beliefs about who we are come from? From what others told us about us and from how they made us feel: inadequate, bad, UNWANTED. Based on those beliefs we have stoped feeling the love for ourselves long time ago...
Do you find it hard to sit alone feeling undesired, rejected, frantically seeking attention elsewhere?
Take the RIGHT ACTION:
1/ Sit with your feelings of unease and discontentment.
(If you are experiencing panic attacks consider few counselling sessions for additional support!) Understand that your emotional pain comes from past traumatic experiences where you were made to feel unloved, unwanted as a child, and that your Inner Child is scared. Realise you are not that helpless child anymore, but a self-sufficient, POWERFUL adult. You have the ultimate responsibility for how you are feeling - only you can soothe your Inner Child by telling him/her that your feelings of lonelinees are only temporary! Your fear of feeling helpless is making you run away from you, and back into the abusive relationship. Your fear will pass as soon as you start to understand where your insecurities came from and how these made you seek destructive relationships. If you run away from how you feel, if you abandon yourself yet again, you will never heal and find true love.
Make peace with yourself by learning about your perfection and loveability. Do nice things for yourself - listen to your true desires! Only you know what you want and need at any given moment. Talk nicely to you! Treat yourself with patience and kindness , practicing self-love.
3/ See how lack of self-love showed up in your life and relationships.
Were you experiencing drama, repeated boundary violation, manipulation and disrespect?
UNDERSTAND WHAT DEFINITELY ISN'T LOVE and take action to protect you. Because allowing abuse you are not treating yourself with love, nor respect. Learn about boundaries and how to communicate your needs with confidence.
Be sure that love comes easy thereafter!
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2017 Michaela Patel