ALL our intentions are driven by these two opposing forces - by darkness, or by light. Saying 'yes' or 'no' to things is driven by us FEARING, or out of PURE LOVE. Our intention is either selfless, or selfish. Our actions are then based on either giving, or taking.
Action based on fear is never about the freedom of choice.
By nature we would choose love, but our past painful experiences are preventing us from doing so. Doubt is a faithful companion of fear.
Our actions based in fear are:
1/ LYING TO OTHERS
We do and say things wanting to look good, out of desiring to be accepted, because we feel unloveable and unworthy just the way we are.
2/ LYING TO OURSELVES
We are scared of our own inadequacies, terrified of failing. We want to look good in our own eyes, avoiding our painful emotions arising from facing our fears of looking LESS THEN. Others taught us about us, projecting their desires of how they like us to be. Tthey often put us down for being inadequate to THEIR ideal. Facing our beliefs about who we are is therefore very painful. For that reason, we DISCONNECTED FROM OUR FEELING, turning our back on our pain. By doing so we cut our only feedback to the truth.
Fear is learned. Love is inherent. So to become who we ARE is to un-become our fear.
Fear of rejection comes from our FIRST emotional wound. We fear being rejected more than our death because we learned about the pain of rejection before we learned to fear death. Number one fear amongst adults is speaking in public as it implies multiple rejection. Since childhood the fear of rejection haunts us till the day we decide to quit our endless chase for acceptance. Accepting ourselves unconditionally finally releases us from our self-imposed prison of wanting to look good. We no longer fear our imperfections. Learning unconditional SELF-ACCEPTANCE we also gain the ability to unconditionally accept others. THAT is true love, because we made a choice to love ourselves first, with compassion and without judgement.
After developing this skill we are capable to extend the same towards others. At the heart of self-acceptance is finding our true nature. Connecting to our emotions, our heart’s desires, our soul searching allows us to shed the concept of who we thought we were.
Without RE-CONNECTING with ourselves we have no chance of shedding our false beliefs and conditioning. Without losing our false Self we can never find our True Self - that we were born to be. The concept of who we think we are separates us from realising our talents and reaching our full potential in life. So many of us are only surviving out of fear, living small, instead of living to their full potential.
All that because we got hurt a long time ago and stopped loving...
Happiness is just a distant dream if we are to continue living in fear of facing our childhood wounds by re-connecting to some pretty painful memories.
The moment we start building our love on fear it is not love anymore but it's concept. Manifesting from a place of LACK we attract others who also fear love and practice emotional avoidance.
To heal means to look at our painful memories with the eyes of love and compassion instead of fear. Love is vulnerable. Love is strong. Strong NOT in terms of being emotionally 'bullet proof', but as the ability to let the bullets pass through and feel the pain knowing we are NOT it, but something much larger...
EXERCISE: Become present to your INTENTIONS. Ask yourself ‘What am I scared of?’
Catch yourself (your Inner Judge) saying 'You should not be scared.' It is just your avoidance when facing the fact that you indeed are scared! Challenge yourself to find something you may be scared of even a tiny bit.
See how much of your life is driven by fear, by needing to be someone else because deep down you BELIEVE you are your darkness...
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel