Do you enjoy time alone?
It is a privilege for me to spend time in solitude. There is so much of an internal dialogue when I am in my own company. I get to talk to the most important person, to the one I value the most. ME.
I ask questions, and have interesting conversations. Sometimes, I experience a breakdown, which is always followed by a BREAKTHROUGH however - a great realisation, the ‘AHA’ moment. I love those!
I get to talk to and listen to the voices inside: the one of my heart - the loving and gentle guidance, and my Ego - the judgmental, critical, not so kind narrator.
I get to choose which voice I follow, and see what are the consequences of my actions. I get to observe how I feel inside as a reaction to my choices. I learn so much about myself, what makes me happy, peaceful and what makes me irritable, and miserable.
It is a feedback loop: thought - feeling - action - feeeling - thought .....which is necessary to observe in order to learn more about what makes us truly happy. One just has to LISTEN, observe and HONESTLY evaluate his/her emotions!
Some of us hate being on their own. We are very social creatures, and love to surround ourselves with people. We like to be popular. Who doesn't, right?
So why can't we stand solitude?
Because the minute we are alone we notice our internal dialogue....
We don’t like to listen to the critical voice in our head, which makes us very unpopular indeed. It makes us feel miserable with constant comparison and critique. But because we are all too ‘busy' to confront this JUDGE, we never get to shut him/her up! And how can we?! We rather turn up the volume.....
Deep down we feel less than others, inadequate. We feel unworthy and undeserving, basically pretty bad about ourselves....
So we do all we can to distract ourselves from hearing our internal chat, from feeling sad and depressed.
We start to help others.
We want to support those who want to be heard, we care for abandoned and abused. We want to spread the LOVE. We like to bring peace to the world. And it makes us feel SO good. It is a great thing to support others....
But hang on!?
What about US?! Who will hear us? When do we help ourselves?
When do we stop the abusive voices inside our minds? When do we start loving and caring for ourselves? When will we make peace with ourselves?
If the best thing we can give to another is the GIFT OF OUR PRESENCE, why do we prefer to abandon ourselves??
We can be a social king or queen, popular, with great life on the outside. But at the end of the day if we choose to ignore ourselves, we will still feel very much alone....
'CHANGE STARTS WITHIN'
Thank you for reading. If my article contributed to understanding yourself, please be generous and share it with others.
Copyright © 2016 Michaela Patel